You're not 40, you're eighteen with 22 years experience. ~Author Unknown
Spread the diaper in the position of the diamond with you at bat. Then fold second base down to home and set the baby on the pitcher's mound. Put first base and third together, bring up home plate and pin the three together. Of course, in case of rain, you gotta call the game and start all over again. ~Jimmy Piersal, on how to diaper a baby, 1968
Inside every older person is a younger person wondering what happened. ~Jennifer Yane
Inflation is when you pay fifteen dollars for the ten-dollar haircut you used to get for five dollars when you had hair. ~Sam Ewing
Never raise your hand to your kids. It leaves your groin unprotected. ~Red Buttons
Fatherhood is pretending the present you love most is soap-on-a-rope. ~Bill Cosby
You're not 40, you're eighteen with 22 years experience. ~Author Unknown
When I was a boy of fourteen, my father was so ignorant I could hardly stand to have the old man around. But when I got to be twenty-one, I was astonished at how much he had learned in seven years. ~Author unknown, commonly attributed to Mark Twain but no evidence has yet been found for this (Thanks, Garson O'Toole!)
Fatherhood is pretending the present you love most is soap-on-a-rope. ~Bill Cosby
Old as she was, she still missed her daddy sometimes. ~Gloria Naylor
It kills you to see them grow up. But I guess it would kill you quicker if they didn't. ~Barbara Kingsolver, Animal Dreams
Youth is a disease from which we all recover. ~Dorothy Fulheim
Youth would be an ideal state if it came a little later in life. ~Herbert Asquith
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