Middle age is the time when a man is always thinking that in a week or two he will feel as good as ever. ~Don Marquis
Youth is a wonderful thing. What a crime to waste it on children. ~George Bernard Shaw
Middle age is having a choice between two temptations and choosing the one that'll get you home earlier. ~Dan Bennett
Never raise your hand to your kids. It leaves your groin unprotected. ~Red Buttons
You are only young once, but you can stay immature indefinitely. ~Ogden Nash
Middle age is the time when a man is always thinking that in a week or two he will feel as good as ever. ~Don Marquis
Never raise your hand to your kids. It leaves your groin unprotected. ~Red Buttons
Middle age is when your age starts to show around your middle. ~Bob Hope
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Just remember, once you're over the hill you begin to pick up speed. ~Charles Schulz
Spread the diaper in the position of the diamond with you at bat. Then fold second base down to home and set the baby on the pitcher's mound. Put first base and third together, bring up home plate and pin the three together. Of course, in case of rain, you gotta call the game and start all over again. ~Jimmy Piersal, on how to diaper a baby, 1968
Sherman made the terrible discovery that men make about their fathers sooner or later... that the man before him was not an aging father but a boy, a boy much like himself, a boy who grew up and had a child of his own and, as best he could, out of a sense of duty and, perhaps love, adopted a role called Being a Father so that his child would have something mythical and infinitely important: a Protector, who would keep a lid on all the chaotic and catastrophic possibilities of life. ~Tom Wolfe, The Bonfire of the Vanities
When I was a boy of fourteen, my father was so ignorant I could hardly stand to have the old man around. But when I got to be twenty-one, I was astonished at how much he had learned in seven years. ~Author unknown, commonly attributed to Mark Twain but no evidence has yet been found for this (Thanks, Garson O'Toole!)
My father used to play with my brother and me in the yard. Mother would come out and say, "You're tearing up the grass." "We're not raising grass," Dad would reply. "We're raising boys." ~Harmon Killebrew
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