They say that age is all in your mind. The trick is keeping it from creeping down into your body. ~Author Unknown
There is still no cure for the common birthday. ~John Glenn
Never raise your hand to your kids. It leaves your groin unprotected. ~Red Buttons
Spread the diaper in the position of the diamond with you at bat. Then fold second base down to home and set the baby on the pitcher's mound. Put first base and third together, bring up home plate and pin the three together. Of course, in case of rain, you gotta call the game and start all over again. ~Jimmy Piersal, on how to diaper a baby, 1968
Henry James once defined life as that predicament which precedes death, and certainly nobody owes you a debt of honor or gratitude for getting him into that predicament. But a child does owe his father a debt, if Dad, having gotten him into this peck of trouble, takes off his coat and buckles down to the job of showing his son how best to crash through it. ~Clarence Budington Kelland
May you live to be a hundred yearsWith one extra year to repent.~Author Unknown
Our birthdays are feathers in the broad wing of time. ~Jean Paul Richter
Middle age is having a choice between two temptations and choosing the one that'll get you home earlier. ~Dan Bennett
You are only young once, but you can stay immature indefinitely. ~Ogden Nash
We know we're getting old when the only thing we want for our birthday is not to be reminded of it. ~Author Unknown
It would seem that something which means poverty, disorder and violence every single day should be avoided entirely, but the desire to beget children is a natural urge. ~Phyllis Diller
First you forget names; then you forget faces; then you forget to zip up your fly; and then you forget to unzip your fly. ~Branch Rickey
Life is a moderately good play with a badly written third act. ~Truman Capote
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