Never raise your hand to your kids. It leaves your groin unprotected. ~Red Buttons
Making the decision to have a child is momentous. It is to decide forever to have your heart go walking around outside your body. ~Elizabeth Stone
When I was younger, I could remember anything, whether it had happened or not; but my faculties are decaying now and soon I shall be so I cannot remember any but the things that never happened. It is sad to go to pieces like this but we all have to do it. ~Mark Twain
You are only young once, but you can stay immature indefinitely. ~Ogden Nash
I'm sixty years of age. That's 16 Celsius. ~George Carlin, Brain Droppings, 1997
Our birthdays are feathers in the broad wing of time. ~Jean Paul Richter
I'm sixty years of age. That's 16 Celsius. ~George Carlin, Brain Droppings, 1997
Thanks to modern medical advances such as antibiotics, nasal spray, and Diet Coke, it has become routine for people in the civilized world to pass the age of 40, sometimes more than once. ~Dave Barry, "Your Disintegrating Body," Dave Barry Turns 40, 1990
Just remember, once you're over the hill you begin to pick up speed. ~Charles Schulz
Are we not like two volumes of one book? ~Marceline Desbordes-Valmore
My father used to play with my brother and me in the yard. Mother would come out and say, "You're tearing up the grass." "We're not raising grass," Dad would reply. "We're raising boys." ~Harmon Killebrew
Fatherhood is pretending the present you love most is soap-on-a-rope. ~Bill Cosby
There's something like a line of gold thread running through a man's words when he talks to his daughter, and gradually over the years it gets to be long enough for you to pick up in your hands and weave into a cloth that feels like love itself. ~John Gregory Brown, Decorations in a Ruined Cemetery, 1994
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