I'm sixty years of age. That's 16 Celsius. ~George Carlin, Brain Droppings, 1997
May you live to be a hundred yearsWith one extra year to repent.~Author Unknown
Thanks to modern medical advances such as antibiotics, nasal spray, and Diet Coke, it has become routine for people in the civilized world to pass the age of 40, sometimes more than once. ~Dave Barry, "Your Disintegrating Body," Dave Barry Turns 40, 1990
You are only young once, but you can stay immature indefinitely. ~Ogden Nash
My father used to play with my brother and me in the yard. Mother would come out and say, "You're tearing up the grass." "We're not raising grass," Dad would reply. "We're raising boys." ~Harmon Killebrew
When I was younger, I could remember anything, whether it had happened or not; but my faculties are decaying now and soon I shall be so I cannot remember any but the things that never happened. It is sad to go to pieces like this but we all have to do it. ~Mark Twain
The first sign of maturity is the discovery that the volume knob also turns to the left. ~Jerry M. Wright
Spread the diaper in the position of the diamond with you at bat. Then fold second base down to home and set the baby on the pitcher's mound. Put first base and third together, bring up home plate and pin the three together. Of course, in case of rain, you gotta call the game and start all over again. ~Jimmy Piersal, on how to diaper a baby, 1968
Old as she was, she still missed her daddy sometimes. ~Gloria Naylor
We know we're getting old when the only thing we want for our birthday is not to be reminded of it. ~Author Unknown
He didn't tell me how to live; he lived, and let me watch him do it. ~Clarence Budington Kelland
A father is always making his baby into a little woman. And when she is a woman he turns her back again. ~Enid Bagnold
Birthdays are good for you. Statistics show that the people who have the most live the longest. ~Larry Lorenzoni
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