We advance in years somewhat in the manner of an invading army in a barren land; the age that we have reached, as the saying goes, we but hold with an outpost, and still keep open communications with the extreme rear and first beginnings of the march. ~Robert Louis Stevenson, "Virginibus Puerisque II," Virginibus Puerisque, 1881
My father used to play with my brother and me in the yard. Mother would come out and say, "You're tearing up the grass." "We're not raising grass," Dad would reply. "We're raising boys." ~Harmon Killebrew
Are we not like two volumes of one book? ~Marceline Desbordes-Valmore
Time may be a great healer, but it's a lousy beautician. ~Author Unknown
There is still no cure for the common birthday. ~John Glenn
Never raise your hand to your kids. It leaves your groin unprotected. ~Red Buttons
When I was younger, I could remember anything, whether it had happened or not; but my faculties are decaying now and soon I shall be so I cannot remember any but the things that never happened. It is sad to go to pieces like this but we all have to do it. ~Mark Twain
Father! - to God himself we cannot give a holier name. ~William Wordsworth
Middle age is having a choice between two temptations and choosing the one that'll get you home earlier. ~Dan Bennett
When I was a boy of fourteen, my father was so ignorant I could hardly stand to have the old man around. But when I got to be twenty-one, I was astonished at how much he had learned in seven years. ~Author unknown, commonly attributed to Mark Twain but no evidence has yet been found for this (Thanks, Garson O'Toole!)
You are only young once, but you can stay immature indefinitely. ~Ogden Nash
Middle age is when your age starts to show around your middle. ~Bob Hope
I don't care how poor a man is; if he has family, he's rich. ~M*A*S*H, Colonel Potter
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