Sunday, January 22, 2012

random funny quotes


A father is always making his baby into a little woman.  And when she is a woman he turns her back again.  ~Enid Bagnold



Middle age is when your age starts to show around your middle.  ~Bob Hope



Spread the diaper in the position of the diamond with you at bat.  Then fold second base down to home and set the baby on the pitcher's mound.  Put first base and third together, bring up home plate and pin the three together.  Of course, in case of rain, you gotta call the game and start all over again.  ~Jimmy Piersal, on how to diaper a baby, 1968




A diplomat is a man who always remembers a woman's birthday but never remembers her age.  ~Robert Frost




I'm sixty years of age.  That's 16 Celsius.  ~George Carlin, Brain Droppings, 1997



We advance in years somewhat in the manner of an invading army in a barren land; the age that we have reached, as the saying goes, we but hold with an outpost, and still keep open communications with the extreme rear and first beginnings of the march.  ~Robert Louis Stevenson, "Virginibus Puerisque II," Virginibus Puerisque, 1881




Inflation is when you pay fifteen dollars for the ten-dollar haircut you used to get for five dollars when you had hair.  ~Sam Ewing



It would seem that something which means poverty, disorder and violence every single day should be avoided entirely, but the desire to beget children is a natural urge.  ~Phyllis Diller

random funny quotes. Filed under Random by Funny Quotations on December 3, 2011 at 1:35 pm {no
  • Filed under Random by Funny Quotations on December 3, 2011 at 1:35 pm {no



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  • Because time itself is like a spiral, something special happens on your birthday each year:  The same energy that God invested in you at birth is present once again.  ~Menachem Mendel Schneerson

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  • Blessed indeed is the man who hears many gentle voices call him father!  ~Lydia M. Child, Philothea: A Romance, 1836
    Just remember, once you're over the hill you begin to pick up speed.  ~Charles Schulz
    We advance in years somewhat in the manner of an invading army in a barren land; the age that we have reached, as the saying goes, we but hold with an outpost, and still keep open communications with the extreme rear and first beginnings of the march.  ~Robert Louis Stevenson, "Virginibus Puerisque II," Virginibus Puerisque, 1881

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  • random funny quotes. Filed under Random by Funny Quotations on December 3, 2011 at 1:35 pm {no
  • Filed under Random by Funny Quotations on December 3, 2011 at 1:35 pm {no





  • We advance in years somewhat in the manner of an invading army in a barren land; the age that we have reached, as the saying goes, we but hold with an outpost, and still keep open communications with the extreme rear and first beginnings of the march.  ~Robert Louis Stevenson, "Virginibus Puerisque II," Virginibus Puerisque, 1881


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