Middle age is having a choice between two temptations and choosing the one that'll get you home earlier. ~Dan Bennett
Growing old is mandatory; growing up is optional. ~Chili Davis
A father carries pictures where his money used to be. ~Author Unknown
Middle age is the time when a man is always thinking that in a week or two he will feel as good as ever. ~Don Marquis
Never raise your hand to your kids. It leaves your groin unprotected. ~Red Buttons
Spread the diaper in the position of the diamond with you at bat. Then fold second base down to home and set the baby on the pitcher's mound. Put first base and third together, bring up home plate and pin the three together. Of course, in case of rain, you gotta call the game and start all over again. ~Jimmy Piersal, on how to diaper a baby, 1968
You're not 40, you're eighteen with 22 years experience. ~Author Unknown
Middle age is the time when a man is always thinking that in a week or two he will feel as good as ever. ~Don Marquis
Because time itself is like a spiral, something special happens on your birthday each year: The same energy that God invested in you at birth is present once again. ~Menachem Mendel Schneerson
It kills you to see them grow up. But I guess it would kill you quicker if they didn't. ~Barbara Kingsolver, Animal Dreams
The first sign of maturity is the discovery that the volume knob also turns to the left. ~Jerry M. Wright
Never raise your hand to your kids. It leaves your groin unprotected. ~Red Buttons
A father carries pictures where his money used to be. ~Author Unknown
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