Youth would be an ideal state if it came a little later in life. ~Herbert Asquith
When I was younger, I could remember anything, whether it had happened or not; but my faculties are decaying now and soon I shall be so I cannot remember any but the things that never happened. It is sad to go to pieces like this but we all have to do it. ~Mark Twain
It would seem that something which means poverty, disorder and violence every single day should be avoided entirely, but the desire to beget children is a natural urge. ~Phyllis Diller
Fatherhood is pretending the present you love most is soap-on-a-rope. ~Bill Cosby
A father is always making his baby into a little woman. And when she is a woman he turns her back again. ~Enid Bagnold
I'm sixty years of age. That's 16 Celsius. ~George Carlin, Brain Droppings, 1997
There is still no cure for the common birthday. ~John Glenn
There is still no cure for the common birthday. ~John Glenn
Time may be a great healer, but it's a lousy beautician. ~Author Unknown
Birthdays are good for you. Statistics show that the people who have the most live the longest. ~Larry Lorenzoni
May you live to be a hundred yearsWith one extra year to repent.~Author Unknown
Inflation is when you pay fifteen dollars for the ten-dollar haircut you used to get for five dollars when you had hair. ~Sam Ewing
Thanks to modern medical advances such as antibiotics, nasal spray, and Diet Coke, it has become routine for people in the civilized world to pass the age of 40, sometimes more than once. ~Dave Barry, "Your Disintegrating Body," Dave Barry Turns 40, 1990
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