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Just remember, once you're over the hill you begin to pick up speed.  ~Charles Schulz



Life is a moderately good play with a badly written third act.  ~Truman Capote



Spread the diaper in the position of the diamond with you at bat.  Then fold second base down to home and set the baby on the pitcher's mound.  Put first base and third together, bring up home plate and pin the three together.  Of course, in case of rain, you gotta call the game and start all over again.  ~Jimmy Piersal, on how to diaper a baby, 1968




Middle age is the time when a man is always thinking that in a week or two he will feel as good as ever.  ~Don Marquis




It would seem that something which means poverty, disorder and violence every single day should be avoided entirely, but the desire to beget children is a natural urge.  ~Phyllis Diller



Father! - to God himself we cannot give a holier name.  ~William Wordsworth




You're not 40, you're eighteen with 22 years experience.  ~Author Unknown



Blessed indeed is the man who hears many gentle voices call him father!  ~Lydia M. Child, Philothea: A Romance, 1836

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Youth is a disease from which we all recover.  ~Dorothy Fulheim

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Middle age is when your age starts to show around your middle.  ~Bob Hope
When I was a boy of fourteen, my father was so ignorant I could hardly stand to have the old man around.  But when I got to be twenty-one, I was astonished at how much he had learned in seven years.  ~Author unknown, commonly attributed to Mark Twain but no evidence has yet been found for this (Thanks, Garson O'Toole!)
Blessed indeed is the man who hears many gentle voices call him father!  ~Lydia M. Child, Philothea: A Romance, 1836

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Thanks to modern medical advances such as antibiotics, nasal spray, and Diet Coke, it has become routine for people in the civilized world to pass the age of 40, sometimes more than once.  ~Dave Barry, "Your Disintegrating Body," Dave Barry Turns 40, 1990